Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
