If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
