Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
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That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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