A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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