This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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