Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
