My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
