Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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