We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
