But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
