Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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