SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
