THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
