yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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