Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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