I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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