p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
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I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize