Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
