one might say we're banned from that church
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
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You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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