About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
worst night to have a conscience
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
