The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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