you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
