i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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