I think im going to throw up on grandma
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize