But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
