I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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