seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
