i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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