I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
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shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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