My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
