So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize
