i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
