There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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