he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
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Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
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He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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