Apparently you make a good broom.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
