How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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