Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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