How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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