Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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