She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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