Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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