You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
