she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
