I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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