We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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