My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
