I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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