No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
how does that bad decision feel?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
