I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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