I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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