Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I faked an abortion last night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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