How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
