I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
