so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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