Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
