My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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