ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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