i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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