this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
