Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
