theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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