Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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