I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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